So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
