Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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