Having a random hookup so left but love u
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize