jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
