i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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