i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
