Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(989): View more from Michigan

i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed

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(347): View more from New York

I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot

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(503): View more from Oregon

Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.

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(+25): View more from

We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?

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(928): View more from Arizona

im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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(254): View more from Texas

Im just a social blackout drinker.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab

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