We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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