Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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