Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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