So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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