We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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