so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
