my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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