i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
