Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
