I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
