So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize