Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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