Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sponge bath it is.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
