Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
