At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
