dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
