Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
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