the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
