Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
