i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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