fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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