Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
