I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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