ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
be right there i have to get my cape
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
