Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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