Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
