smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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