i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
