You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
