So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
