So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
