I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
