Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
