normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
