No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
