WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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