woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
