Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
