I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
