If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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