Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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