just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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