Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We are all done wearing pants today
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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