I hope mine doesn't look like that
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
