I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
