Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
are you so shy because you have an std?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
