Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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