Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
