i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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