Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I want to be your penis for a week.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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