why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
