Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
A+ Viking dick
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
