I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
