You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
